Phoenix, AZ

I went to this ridiculous town last week to watch preseason baseball and to have my fantasy draft. This town is called Phoenix. I don't know which cowboy rode through the desert with an Apache arrow in his horse's butt and thought to himself, this looks like a great spot to have an enormous city, but he was an moron. Phoenix has no natural resources other than rocks, sunshine and hot, dry air. I think the national pastime of Phoenix dwellers is to collect rocks in the heat and arrange them into nice patterns. See here

and here

I also saw a guy "weeding" some rocks. Nice use of government cash there; wait three months and those weeds will be dead for free.

If the fact that living in a desert wasn't silly enough, the powers that be decided that Phoenix should be enormous. We had to drive 30 minutes to get anywhere and I think it would take a good 90 minutes to drive from Chandler to Surprise. I was listening to the radio and the program hosts were criticizing Dennis Leary for saying he didn't care about global warming and then asserted that we should do everything we can to reduce CO2 emissions yadayada. My first thought was, you boneheads live in enormous, spread-out, three-lane highways everywhere Phoenix where you have to import water, food, cold air and old people; if you're so serious, move somewhere hospitable to human life.