Guilt

So we had to get Michael to get used to sleeping in his crib again after sleeping with his parents for like 3 weeks (travelling/etc). It was a nightmare.

He cried for 45 minutes, threw up, then cried for another 10 more minutes. Slept for about 2 hours. Woke up, cried for an hour. And then just little cries here or there for another hour. Slept until 7:00 and then Brian slept with him on the couch until 8:30am.

*sigh*

And today...today is the day that Michael said "Mom" for real. He did it about 10-12 times today and at different points throughout the day. While he was walking towards me. While he was looking at me. While he was hugging me. It was so wonderful to hear his TRUE first word be "Mom."

And then the guilt set in. After such a horrible night, he rewards me with this. And this wonderful moment was so bittersweet.

The only thing that makes me feel better is that he HAS to sleep in his crib. No ifs ands or buts about it. We're just not a huge co-sleeping kind of family. It's just not us.

And tonight? He went down like a champ. Cried for about one minute and then went to sleep. He is such a good boy. We just don't deserve him! Why God gave us such a sweet and wonderful blessing...I'll never know!

Love,
P